A Broad In Costa Rica

Week One: Massage School

I did it. I'm taking a massage course from the Costa Rica School of Integrative Massage. Three days a week, 9a-2p, for 12 weeks, $10/credit hour. If I do all 500 hours required for licensing, that's $5,000. Since I don't intend to be licensed in the US, I'm not concerned about cramming it all in. The plan is to do the mods I want as they come available.

These first two weeks are Connective Tissue Massage. Here's what I learned the first day: everything in your body is surrounded by connective tissue, right down to the cellular level.

Saying "cellular level" makes me sound pretty smart, doesn't it? Use it in a sentence and impress your friends. I do.

Those are my teachers hands in the photos. Just looking at her hands makes me relax!

You know when you are skinning a cooked chicken, that slimy stuff between the skin and the meat? That's connective tissue. It covers every organ, every muscle, every bone, every artery, vein, ligament, tendon, cell, thing inside you. Gross, huh?

Stress, overuse and injury, among other things, causes that connective tissue to get all jammed up, knotty, stuck to the thing it is supposed to be protecting. This is not good. Not only does it keep you from having sufficient range of mobility to reach the peanut butter on the top shelf, it prevents good blood flow and causes pain when you do reach. Not good at all.

A connective tissue massage releases the jammed up tissue, allowing your body to function as it should. Releasing the tissue can be a tad painful. It should be good painful, though, as in, "Oh, it hurts so good." Hmmm, that reminds me...

Bodies are funny things. Or rather, how we feel about our bodies is a funny thing. We take them for granted. We all talk about how great living is, how much we like it, how much we like doing things. Like skiing, hiking, going to the feria, even how much we like just sitting in front of the TV. But, for the most part, we ignore the very vehicle that allows us to have all that fun. We feed it junk, pesticides, hydrogenated fats, GMO corn chips, high-fructose corn syrup, vaccinate it, filling it with mercury and aluminum and God knows what else. We don't exercise it, stretch it, give it enough sleep. Of course, we don't pamper it! We don't even thank it. We expect it to get us out of bed and carry us around and not ever wear out.

Here's something else: we expect it to get old and stop working. We expect that. So when it does, we think, "Oh, right, I'm getting old. Guess I can't do that anymore." Self-fulfilling prophecy? I mean, there are things I can't do anymore, as well as things I have no desire to do anymore. Like run 6 miles a day... There are things Mom can't do anymore that I can still do, because bodies get older and joints less lubricated. But I'm thinking we could keep doing many more things than we think if we just took minimum care of the vehicle. Minimum, as in eating healthy foods, shunning unhealthy foods, a tiny bit of exercise and stretching, moment of silent meditation once a day, laughter, fun, occasional massage to work out the kinks.

No matter how beneficial massage is, most of us - me included - think of it as a luxury. Se la vie. I'll never be rich giving massage but the healing arts call to me. I'm not even sure I want to "be" a massage therapist, but, whatever healing I go into, touch is essential. I love touch. Knowing massage is an excellent foundation. I can expand from there.

Despite what I said the other day about living the life of Riley without a plugged nickel to our names, I do need to make money. It's why I'm not blogging so much: I'm working. A guy hired me to do t-shirt designs for his websites, so I spend a few hours a day doing that. (If you see a good t-shirt slogan, tell me!) I'm also writing articles for some affiliate websites and posting those. Actually working on my book Advice From A Broad: the first 100 things you need to know about coming to Costa Rica. And a few other projects.

One of the ways I make money, er, used to make money, is managing Key West rental properties. I have ten properties I've been managing for a number of years, never had a problem getting a tenant. But that rental market is going through somewhat of a slump. To put it mildly. I've had one property empty for five months now. Another one is going on its second month. Both have lowered their rent significantly. Apparently, more is needed. Two other properties are losing tenants unexpectedly because the tenants found work elsewhere.

I can't say I'm surprised at this turn of events. The sales market has been plummeting there. In one area of town, homes are down more than half what they were at the peak. The real estate market fed a lot of people in Key West. Now that the money has stopped flowing, people stop eating out which means waitresses and cooks are not making money which means they aren't moving to Key West like they used to... they are moving away. Bummer for me and my landlords. Nothing to do but keep putting one foot in front of the other. And learning new skills. I'm sure to find tenants: as Hal likes to say, there's a butt for every seat. Yeah, the guy's a poet.

So while looking for new tenants in Key West, I started a Costa Rica real estate website. I'm learning massage. I'm taking a class in Focusing with my friend Suzanne. I'm studying EFT. There are a few other modalities that warrant a closer look. Poco a poco! In the meantime, I have a body to massage. I've kept him waiting too long... I think he's already asleep on the table! Is it kosher to wake someone up to give him a massage?

Two Costa Rica Tidbits:

Speaking of Costa Rica real estate and abandoned projects, Scott Oliver has an excellent list of questions to ask your salesperson here (you'll need to sign in but it's free and tons of good information). If you are moving to Costa Rica and looking for real estate, this is a good list to bring with you.

While rummaging through Scott's site, I came across this article about their visit to the Centro de Aprendizaje Para Indigenas (CAPI - Apprenticeship Center for Indigenous). Owned and run by the Association "Light in Central America", the centre provides apprenticeships for indigenous Indian people from Costa Rica, Panama, Nicaragua and Honduras. This organization has been around for almost 30 years... well, you can read about it here.

It is always nice to be inspired by people. I spend too much of my day being uninspired by politicians and unethical corporations headed by greedy, unethical people. Discovering CAPI was a welcome break!

World-Class Fitness in 100 Words:

From CrossFit.com:

• Eat meat and vegetables, nuts and seeds, some fruit, little starch and no sugar.
• Keep intake to levels that will support exercise but not body fat.
• Practice and train major lifts: deadlift, clean, squat, presses, C&J, and snatch.
• Similarly, master the basics of gymnastics: pull-ups, dips, rope climb, push-ups, sit-ups, presses to handstand, pirouettes (don't miss this video), flips (I'll be posting a video soon of us doing this), splits, and holds.
• Bike, run, swim, row, etc, hard and fast.
• Five or six days per week mix these elements in as many combinations and patterns as creativity will allow.
• Routine is the enemy.
• Keep workouts short and intense.
• Regularly learn and play new sports.

Lots of good CrossFit videos here.

I owned an aerobics/fitness business for 17 years in Key West. Plus I ran 6 miles a day for about 15 years. Then I got married, had kids, started working a real job and got too busy to work out. Once I stopped and got fat and weak, I couldn't get myself motivated again. Unless I was going on stage, then I'd do Weight Watchers and the treadmill till I was skinny. Once the show was over... well, you notice there are rarely full-body shots of me on the blog.

Suddenly, I'm hot for exercising again. (Geez, I hope it lasts!!!) Going to the gym is ok, better than nothing and I can get a good workout there. But it bores the life outta me and it's expensive, especially since the boys have been interested in going. So I'm considering building a home gym. But I'm thinking, why bring all those same boring exercises home? I'm probably much less likely to do them here!

But this gym... I could get really excited having this gym in my house! Add a trampoline in the yard, and we are set. No more expensive than a commercial gym the first year, then practically free after that.

I'm working on it. First thing I'm going to do is hang a rope somewhere I can climb... that would be really cool. Brace yourself: full body shots coming any day now!

Bad, Beat It, Billie Jean, The Way You Make Me Feel, Smooth Criminal, Thriller.

I'm a huge fan. He broke all the rules. His music, his dancing, that beat, he put it all out there. I'm going to miss having him on the planet.

More videos here. The boys were watching the news with me and we saw a clip of a really old Jackson 5 tune with a very young Diana Ross. I said, "That's Diana Ross from the Supremes!"

The boys said, "Who?"

Beauty & The Beast

We're livin' the life of Riley down here in lazy Costa Rica. Even without a plugged nickel to our names. How we manage this, I'll never know. But I'm not going to ask too many questions and I'm not going to look at the balance sheet. Faggeddaboudit. Specially now that we are farmers, growing our own food. Who needs money? I hope one can live on peppers, tomatoes and gladiolas...

Hal and I spent last weekend in Guanacaste. On someone else's nickel, thank you very much. And without the boys. Two whole nights, three whole days. It's nice going somewhere without them, but you know, the whole time, I'm thinking, "The boys would love this, they would enjoy that." Next time, they are coming with. They'll be moved out in a couple of years, getting jobs, sending money home... I intend to enjoy them while we still have them!

Lisa and Tom (two LTG pros) and Hal and I took Love Letters to the beach communities of Playa Hermosa and Playa Flamingo. As nice as living at the beach is (if you like sweating), there's not a lot to do there, cull-chah-wise... unless drinking and fishing are considered cull-chah? So us big-city types took cull-chah to them. Boy, were they grateful! I was director, Hal was the MacGyver/techie, Tom and Lisa played the parts. We were a hit.

Guanacaste is so beautiful, it takes your breath away. Even while you are stopped in traffic 30 minutes at a time on a congested two lane "highway" during the 5-6 hour drive to the coast, the greenery, foliage, birds, the two volcanoes you can see with the naked eye, the mountain ranges in the distance... it all takes your breath away.

Then you get to the ocean. Wow. Key West has a gorgeous landscape: all ocean, flat, forever, everywhere you look. This coast is different: waves crashing on the beach, big volcanic rock formations jutting up from the floor of the ocean. Surrounded by big volcanic rock formations jutting up from the earth. If I snorkeled, I'd be stunned I'm sure. The water is so clear, I imagine it must be ripe with life.

It's no wonder the coast in Costa Rica drew such attention during the real estate boom. It is breathtaking, exotic, peaceful, and - at least at one time - affordable. Each time I've visited a coast here, I've been overwhelmed by billboards advertising new developments. This area in particular drew developers like lawyers to a car wreck. Like Congressmen to a Las Vegas junket. Like fleas to dogs.

Which brings me to The Beast portion of our talk today. Evidence of broken dreams abounds in Guanacaste, as I've heard it does all down the Pacific coastline. In our short visit, without looking hard, we saw a dozen abandoned condo projects. Not including completed ones standing empty. The boom is over and none too soon: the landscape is littered with towers. Still far, far from being a Miami, but I'm glad it's stopped. Sorry for everyone who lost money, but get over it. I lost plenty myself, I have more friends than I can count who are now broke. Sad, but, hey, learn to farm.

I remember our visit to Nosara a couple of years ago: you woke up to howlers and birds at 5am. It was lovely all the way up to 7am when the hammers, saws, diggers and cement trucks got going for the day. Noisy and busy! Clearly that market was doomed. There was nobody around when we were there, real estate salespeople were already looking a little lost. Who was going to buy all these condos they were building at such a furious pace? Nobody as it turns out.

I'm a free market capitalist. If people want to build on land they bought, let them have at it. If they are smart about it, they will be successful and sell to people who want what they have to sell. If not, if they didn't plan, didn't stay alert, they lose their shirts. Builders who don't respect the land and the market will live to see it turn on them. The jungle will take back some of these empty towers, there is simply no other fate available.

The silver lining is that there are good deals to be had, whether buying or renting. Guanacaste is still gorgeous, the ocean is still there, still clean, the air is still good... and all just a beautiful five (or six) hour drive from the central valley.

What We Hear Every Afternoon

(Without the choir in between...):

Goin' to The Show

"Yeah, I was in the show. I was in the show for 21 days once - the 21 greatest days of my life. You know, you never handle your luggage in the show, somebody else carries your bags. It was great. You hit white balls for batting practice, the ballparks are like cathedrals, the hotels all have room service, and the women all have long legs and brains." - Kevin Costner as Crash Davis in Bull Durham

For Crash, the show, the "bigs", is getting to play in the major leagues. That's the big time. For us (you know, the Cuckoos), the show, the big time, is getting to play at the Melico Salazar. Which we will do this Wednesday night, 7pm.

We are doing a benefit performance of Cuckoo's Nest for Raquel Ramírez, Costa Rica's beloved mezzosoprano:

Raquel has leukemia. While treatments here are a fraction of the cost of treatments in the U.S., it's still expensive. $50,000 expensive. And this is her second bout. The first one wiped them out.

How did this event come about? Like everywhere else, it's all who you know. The mother of one of the actresses in the play has an uncle who works at the theatre. She also knows Amelia, Raquel's mother. And Amelia knows everyone. We met at Amelia's house a week ago to discuss the finer points of Un Acto De Amor. I have a really fun video of the meeting - everyone speaking rapid fire Spanish which Hal followed beautifully - it was very impressive! But the pix and vid are with Hal in the states... to follow.

Did I mention that the Melico Salazar seats 800 people? Our biggest audience so far at the Teatro Lawrence Olivier, home to the Little Theatre Group, was 96 people. Which is pretty impressive for the TLO! Playing to 800 seats, even if half of them are empty... that's major league.

But we expect to fill every seat. As far as any of us knows, there has never been an English-language play performed at the Melico since it was built in 1928. The ticos in the play are very excited to be playing at the Melico. Definitely our 15 minutes of fame! There's even a local TV commercial playing!!!

If you are in town, come witness an historic event and help Raquel pay for her treatment. Tickets are 5,000 colones (about $10) for orchestra and first mezzanine, 4,000 ($8) for the middle two balconies and 3,000 ($6) for the tippy top seats. Tickets will be on sale at the theater box office today, Monday, June 13. Box office hours: 9am to noon and 1:30 to 5pm. The theatre is on Ave. 2 at the corner of Calle Central. See you there!

P.S. If you'd like to donate anything from afar, here's a pdf with bank account info. You can donate at any Citibank in the U.S. The account number is #36905856, account name ASEMECO, memo Acto de Amor-Raquel. There is also local bank account info if you are here in Costa Rica and can't make the show.

Real Change

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Saad Mohseni
thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Newt Gingrich Unedited Interview

Now We Can Have Crop Failure

Then we could qualify for a bailout, like in the good old days when farmers got all the free money.

Overnight, Hal became the Intrepid Farmer. That worm workshop did something to him... he can't stop digging. He even constructed a rake. Because he couldn't find any really good quality rakes, mostly just those flimsy plastic ones and a couple of different hard metal ones. But not like real farmers use, apparently. Who is this guy?

For now, he has seeds germinating in little piles all over the kitchen and the patio. He hopes to turn this (photo left) into this (photo below right). Actually, melons grow pretty fast here. We had them growing in our first compost pile... now that was easy!

His farmer jones really got going with the worm workshop, but the seed was planted a-ways before that... right after our landlord "re-designed" the front yard, creating a barren field.

First, Mr. Landlord decided to cut down the two gigantic mango trees. Mango trees drop big leaves which are messy. They also provide fruit for us and the birds... but maybe he's not a tree person. Ok. It's his yard. So Antonio, our intrepid gardener, comes over and cuts 'em down... by hand with a machete. This just impresses the heck outta me. His picture should be in the dictionary next to intrepid.

My incessant whining about how the front yard becomes a swamp in the rainy season prompted some action. As soon as we left for Key West in February, a team of guys with shovels and picks appeared to dig up the front yard. Our housesitters, Barbara and Dave, had to live through that... They were excellent sports and sent me pictures of the progress. Yikes - what a mess!

By the time we got back two weeks later, every blade of grass and plant had been removed, the ground had been dug up and turned over, gravel was added under the topsoil at the drainfield, a huge pipe was added just below the surface to get all the rainwater from the house to the front wall into the new drainage system... and they weren't even near done. We had two to three guys at our house for another month! Here's a little video of the kind of excitement I'm talking about here:

While they were at it, the guys fixed a bunch of other stuff, too: painting the front of the house, fixing a broken door, repairing soffits. They were better at the other stuff than at drainfield repair because now there is now an actual pool of sewer water that bubbles up after a hard rain down near the wall... yuck is not a strong enough word to describe how we feel about that.

I don't think there's any fixing this save digging up the whole yard and starting from scratch. The basic problem is that the yard simply does not perc. It's a big mound of clay: impenetrable. We know this for sure after digging in it. Escazú doesn't have that nice volcanic soil like they have over in Heredia. Sigh. I'm not moving to Heredia. Especially not to farm.

Not that I really want to move, but the sewer in the yard has me back on the guesthouse management scheme. We'll see. I'm not making any major changes until it feels right... the universe just isn't opening any doors and I'm sick of banging knocking. For the moment. So we're hanging tight. Why not? Life is still good, we're not living in a tent. Yet.

Deliciously, Delightfully Insightful

Oh, that I'd heard this 17 years ago! But it's never too late: signing up for dancing lessons today! Anyone else?

Footnote:

I left out a really important point: that the people to whom we are turning over our will and our lives also run the post office, the DMV, the building department, the IRS, the public school system, the prison system and immigration.

As if that weren't disturbing enough, there's this: how can a judge, listening to a couple of local doctors, determine - in a few short hours - the best treatment for anything?

Are You Living In A Medical Police State?

As a free-thinking mom, I'm disturbed by the Daniel Hauser saga. The MN state government ordered him to undergo chemo against his and his parents' wishes. Mom and son ran away, then surrendered to authorities, stating they now believe chemo is the best option.

Do they really believe that? Who knows. Apparently the state has conceded to allowing natural therapies and vitamins to supplement Daniel's chemo. But, bottom line, mom had to say chemo is good to avoid jail and to avoid losing her children to CPS. There was a hearing today on the child custody issue.

To avoid jail and losing her children to CPS. This pretty much defines medical police state to me. A parent can't determine the best decision for a child? A state's government knows better? Only medical doctors can heal? CPS can take better care of your child? Like in MA where 75% of children in foster care are on psychiatric drugs.

If I lived in MN, could I be "turned in" for taking Ryan off asthma drugs? I could conceivably be accused of endangering his life. I could be forced to take him to a doctor who would administer the drugs, possibly lose him to a family who is better at obeying orders. (The CPS rabbit hole is so disturbing, I can't even go there.)

Is chemo the best option? Big Pharma-owned MSM would have us believe that. I don't. Since I've fallen down the alternative medicine rabbit-hole, reading and researching vaccine injury, chelation, autism, auto-immune disorders (lupus, MS, etc.) and cancer, I've come to believe chemo is one of many options, but far from the best choice for everyone.

Big Pharma, in its quest to rule the medical world and its profits, is behind the war against marijuana, keeping DCA out of sight and unapproved, and the push to make as many vitamins as possible available only by prescription. In the 1950s, it was successful at getting Harry Hoxsey tossed out of the U.S. for curing cancer with herbs. The very treatment that saved a child who ran away from court ordered chemo. There are plenty of sane people out there curing themselves with herbs and vitamins!

In researching this, I came across not only uplifting stories of children healed via alternative treatment, but a couple (just a couple, thank goodness) of horrific stories of children dead because of a parent's choice. I don't understand a parent's ability to stand by while their child suffers a protracted painful death, not even offering an aspirin, because of a belief system that does not allow medical intervention at any level.

The question is: do we all take the medicine (in this case, of allowing government to decide what is best for our children) because of the travesties committed by a few? Should everyone have to attend weekly AA meetings because a few of us can't hold our liquor, just in case? Should everyone have to take an H1N1 vaccine because a few people with compromised health died from it?

In any case, I'll be staying out of MN, at least while Pawlenty is governor. He just vetoed that states' medical marijuana bill despite overwhelming voter support. Heck, I'll be staying out of the entire U.S. Life is too good here!

A Nest of Cuckoos

I'm a community theatre snob. See? I even spelled it "re" instead of "er". Total snob. I have a Bachelor's in Theatre Arts, don't you know. I'm a past member of Actor's Equity, SAG and AFTRA, the coveted theatre unions. Getting in requires, if not talent, at least skill at manipulating opportunity. I've spent 32 years acting, directing, stage managing, prop mistressing, running lights, sound and ushering (not in that order). I think I know something. And I confess I did not think Cuckoo's Nest was going to be a hit.

First of all, community theatre should rarely attempt drama. Drama is difficult, and a failed attempt is miserable all the way around. Unconvincing drama is embarrassing to the audience and humiliating for the actors. Think bad opera in Italy. If the audience hates it and half of them don't come back for the second act, well. I have been in those shows. Crushed egos abound and having to repeat the event night after night is an exercise in despair.

Second, half the cast has never been in a play before. And half the cast (not the exact same half) is speaking English as a second language. Anywhere else, this would definitely be a problem. Luckily, here, we are used to the accent. Here, it's like The Full Monty: after the first 10 minutes, you don't even notice it. In fact, we got one of the actors to speak most of his lines in Spanish. He gets some of the biggest laughs! And we call him Martinez instead of Martini. Fun!

If you haven't seen the play, don't read this paragraph. Come see the play - you will be sorry if you miss it! Third, we don't have the budget, the wizardy or the equipment to carry off the dramatic technical aspects of the "Big Black Machine 18 stories down." So Chief Bromden, instead of ripping out the power center of Nurse Ratched's kingdom, symbolically killing the BBM once and for all, simply lifts a great big heavy box. Impressive and a moment to cheer, but not exactly what the play called for.

No matter.

My angst was for naught. The audiences haven't cared about any of those petty details. They fall in love with the characters and that's all that matters. They hate Nurse Ratched. They love McMurphy, love Chief Bromden. They hate the Aides and Turkel, the night guard - they practically boo at them! They adore the loonies: Cheswick, Scanlon, Ruckley, Martinez, Billy Bibbit, Harding. They are sympathetic to Nurse Flinn and even Dr. Spivey. And everyone wants a few minutes alone with Candy and Sandra.

Working with the Little Theatre Group has been a real education for me as far as community theatre, what it offers a community and the players involved. It's not all about massaging egos which is what a great deal of my 32 years boils down to: not just my ego, but my fellow thespians as well. Looking for love in all the wrong places. In my mind, if all the ingredients weren't there for a Broadway-ready production, why would you bother? Cuckoo's Nest taught me why. Not just because it's a hit with audiences, but because of the actors: what they bring to it, what they've given to it, how they've listened to each other, and how they tell the story. Having it be so appreciated by the audience is icing on the cake. If you haven't seen it, do. Two more weekends.

"The show must go on!"
Here's a little excitement you only get with live theatre. The first Sunday of the play, Caroline, who plays Nurse Ratched, had a severe allergic reaction and couldn't perform. An hour before showtime, we found out the doctor was keeping her in the hospital overnight. So I adopted my most severe persona (required extreme focus, of course) and went on all dressed in white, reading from a script on a clipboard. Nurses carry clipboards all the time anyway, right? The other actors moved me about as needed and whispered instruction in my ear backstage. And the play worked. The entire audience came back for the second half and clapped long and loud at the end.

Ok, I loved that. But I don't want to do it again - my heart can't take it! Caroline is fine and has sworn she will not miss another performance. Good. Now I can look forward to being with the loonies again this weekend. See you at the show. Only 3,000 colones to join in all that lovin'!

Still On Track To Live Forever

I saw two other doctors last week and the prognosis is excellent. I am always floored by the top-notch service, the professional manner, the time spent with me and the small money. Even though prices have gone up, it's still so small... the healthcare alone would keep me in Costa Rica, especially at my advanced age.

The first doctor was Dra. Ortuño, ob-gyn, ($66 this visit, $30 on my first visit three years ago). I've come to really like her. At first, not so much personally, but she is such an excellent doctor, I stayed with her. For one thing, she gives the best breast exam ever. Male doctors just don't have this down, sorry to say. Girls know bosoms. And this visit, we had a few good laughs. Why I have to laugh with people before I warm up to them, I don't know. But this time, I found I really like her. She probably opened up a little more to me because I've passed the two year mark...

Here's the thing. Doctors here, like long-time expats, just can't afford to warm up to the newbies. Since a lot of the people who move to Costa Rica move away within two years, why get to liking someone just in time to say goodbye? I can understand that. It's hard on a newbie, hard to make friends, hard to feel a part of but I guess it's the dues that need paying. (I can say that now that I've paid them! But it's damned hard earning your way here...)

My second doctor visit was to Dra. Samantha Naranjo, dermatologist, ($80 this visit, $40 in 2006). She examined this old pale freckled body, burned off about 30 places including a few deluxe freckles (some people call them age spots but that's so yesterday), chatting all the while. Looked at a few places under a special magnifier... then burned them off. Bye bye basal cells!

I asked what I could do about the sun damaged skin on my chest... Hal and I were visiting with a friend the other day and neither of us could take our eyes off her cleavage. I mean, we tried but it kept calling... Smooth perfect skin. Young skin. I want that. Samantha told me to use efudex every night for 30 nights. You can buy efudex over the counter for $20. In fact, I already have a tube. Then she wrote up a list of products to use after the scabs fall off (yeah, efudex is some kinda fun). Sign me up.

Not to worry, I'll keep you posted on my cleavage. It will take my mind off the fact I have no money, no job and no real prospects. That's ok: something will come along. I could go live with Ginnee... who knows what tomorrow will bring? Besides young skin.

QBP 2009

Every year, Her Majesty the Queen of England celebrates her birthday at Costa Rica's British Embassy right here in Escazú. Actually, She celebrates the big day everywhere in the world with a British Embassy. With 261 embassies, that's a lot of presents.

And it's a bash with a carnival atmosphere: clowns, horse rides, fantastic bands (like Harmony Roads), face painting, tents, silent auction (the QBP is also a fundraiser for local schools), bangers and mash, imported English candy. The only thing missing was spotted dick. Didn't see him anywhere. (OMG, I'm so funny.)

While researching this, I counted 250 or so U.S. embassies in the world and not a single birthday celebration was had for George Bush. Hmmm. Nothing planned for Barack either. But the Queen, well, her day in Costa Rica was swell! WeLoveCostaRica.com has a whole page on the QBP, including a picture of me Harmony Roads. Too bad the Queen Mother missed it. I've heard she likes a good shindig.

Meanwhile, Back At The Ranch...

In Heaven.
The LTG is putting up One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest. Midstream, the director decided he couldn't complete the task, so I got tapped to direct: heaven. Of all the things I do, theatre is my thing. There's a shift in the human doing/being paradigm... even though it's a thing I'm doing, it's not like doing anything else. I get lost in it, suspended in time. Hours go by and the cast is like, "Can we take a break now?" I believe it's the closest I get to a human being.

An added bonus is geting to be the rescuer. The director and the hero. Yeah, that's what I'm talkin' about.

1 May is what in Costa Rica?
As a kid, May first was a big event around our house. Mom got us going with, "Hurray, hurray, it's the first of May, outside diddling starts today." We'd all giggle having no idea what she meant. "Mommy said a nursery rhyme!"

It was also the day she threw open the windows, no matter what the temperature, because, according to Mom, it was Spring. It could be 50 degrees... in fact, it was always 50 degrees. But it was Spring and, by God, the windows got opened.

May first is a Big Weather Day in Costa Rica, as well: the official start of Green Season. Which is a nice way to say rainy season. Which pretty much just ended from last year. No problem, the rain started right back up again. (Nice yard, eh? That's going to take a little 'splainin'...)

Oh - the red plastic tub: that's full of our new worms.They are busy composting right now down deep in the wormiculture. We composted with worms in Key West and just found out it's big here, too. In fact, Hal took a worm workshop, I mean a Taller de Lombricultura Urbana. The whole thing was in Spanish and he understood every word. That was cool. We'll* be gardening soon, growing tomatoes in that big weed patch out front!

*That would be the Royal We as in Hal.

Ryan's Breathing
The down side to working in that theatre is the world's oldest carpeting covering the entire inside (and it's big). Add the 100 or so cushioned theatre seats that have seen better days, and you have perfect allergen breeding ground. The place has that dusty old carpet smell. Ryan has a part in the play and when we got home last night, he was practically panting. He took a Singulair, a hot shower, drank some hot tea and all better.

Taking him off the asthma drugs was the smartest thing we've done for his health. If Ryan has asthma, it's definitely allergy-induced. I still don't know if there's any real difference between allergy-induced asthma and regular old asthma. Is there one? It seems all asthma events would be triggered by something... the trick is to figure out your triggers, then control those the best you can. Ryan's does not appear to be life-threatening, just annoying and uncomfortable when it appears.

An odd coincidence perhaps, but while researching this, I read report after report that 1) said childhood asthma drugs stunt a child's growth, and/or 2) was a phamaceutical report debunking that as a myth. But within three months of Ryan going off the drugs, he grew 3 inches and filled out. It's been a year and he is now almost as tall as Mo. I thought I was hallucinating, but everyone remarks on it. He was turning 15 then, now 16, and those are definitely growth spurt years... so probably coincidence.

Other than that - and this is the first episode that required a Singulair (which you can buy here without a prescription) - his breathing has been fine. He can breathe through his nose now and that makes him a happy camper! Mouth-breathers can have a little trouble with the ladies.

The Ladies
The boys like the ladies. Despite all warnings to the contrary, home-schooling has been the smartest thing we've done for their socialization. It's such a dichotomy to me because everyone warns about their socialization and how they are going to be left behind if they don't go to school. Well, if the way these boys are turning out is "left behind", left behind is desirable. They are nice, funny, sociable boys. They like us, we hang out, we talk, they get along in a crowd, not shy, always ready to boogie down.

Last Saturday night we went to a party, the four of us. Tons of people and a side room where a DJ was all set up for dancing. A couple of times during the party, I saw the boys - all three of them - huddled, talking about something. They like each other. I love that.

Then my girlfriends and I, who were dancing, dragged them all up on the dance floor. Hal did a few obligatory turns and sat. He's not big on dancing. But Morgan and Ryan danced the rest of the night! I didn't even know they could. Ryan even danced by himself when there was nobody to dance with, then he danced with someone's mother, because - as he pointed out - Mo snagged the only teenage girl there.

Who happened to be the daughter of Ryan's dance partner. Sandra is 19 and smokes which both boys find unappealing, thank you. But everything else about her is just fine. Both boys and she hung out, walked the property, then sat and chatted, exchanged phone numbers. As much as the boys like us, teenage girls are where it's at.

It's a good thing when teenagers hang out with other teenagers in small doses. If the boys go to college, that will be social overload for sure! But, heck, it was for me even after I'd gone to public school... so, whatever. They will survive it.

Off to work on the play. Gotta figure out some way to get paid for this...

Jiggering The Numbers

Here's the other thing: of the 985 cases of confirmed HiA, 25 have died. That's 2.5%, a pretty impressive number for a disease. But all the dead were Mexicans. Why is that? We know the baby who came to the U.S. had other health issues. I read that he was premature but I can't find that article now. Still looking...

Having lived through too many hurricane hysteria events to count, I am immune to MSM/gov induced hysteria. You learn to look for the truth behind the numbers before "taking precautions." Florida newspapers love reporting the number of deaths from a hurricane. What you come to realize is that, almost anyone who dies during a hurricane is considered a death caused by hurricane. If someone has a heart attack during a hurricane, the hurricane caused it, raising that 'canes coveted top-level position on the danger scale.

But is that accurate? Maybe that person's heart disease was caused by eating too much pesticide-laden GMO aspartame-filled food and drink, all approved by the FDA. Maybe he wasn't exercising enough and drinking too much. Maybe just genetics or bad luck. Maybe he'd just heard some very bad news and the hurricane barrelled by minutes later...

My question is: what really killed those 25 people? What were their ages? What condition were they in? Of the 985 cases world wide, 590 were in Mexico which means 565 Mexicans recovered, including that adorable Ground Zero boy. How does such a mild flu kill a person unless that person's health were compromised some other way?

Are there any investigative reporters left? If so, why aren't they asking these questions? Where is 60 minutes? Oprah? Jon Stewart?

MSM reporters aren't asking these questions because that would dispel the fear. There's no fun in that scenario! The MSM is owned by pharmaceutical companies, obviously via the advertising dollar ("Ask your doctor if ____ is right for you."), but perhaps via lobbyists as well. Big Pharma sure doesn't want you calm: they want you stocking up on Tamiflu and lining up for a vaccine. They will put the kabosh on sane information leaking to the public.

You know, maybe the WHO, the CDC and Janet Napolitano are really just the self-important hysteria junkies they appear to be, sinister only in their foolishness.* Maybe it's just that they're getting their news from Channel 5, too. Is it a complete waste of time to yearn for an MSM outlet with the guts to seek out, then print all the facts?

*You know I think there's more to it than that. But just suppose for a minute they are just fools. Because the only other option is evil.

How Costa Rica Plans To Handle Swine Flu

A commenter left a link to this article. Hal translated it for me:

As near as I can tell, they are proposing to kill all the pigs and cows in the country to save us from swine flu. They've dredged up the plan that was made in 2005 for Mad Cow hysteria. Apparently, a plan like this is too good to throw away.

They plan to bury the animals in mass graves somewhere near the airport. Farmers are against the idea. There's no evidence to indicate disease has passed from animals to humans.

A spokesperson from the President's office said "There's no evidence that swine flu spreads from pigs to cow, nor that mad cow spreads from cows to pigs. Nevertheless, there's no evidence to assure us that it couldn't happen in the future. Selecting and eliminating the animals is the best way to prevent that."

Nobody talked about disease passing from animals to humans.

In regard to swine flu, he added, “No podemos eliminar la posibilidad del sacrificio de algunas personas, por el bien de la mayoría. Claro, sería una respuesta extrema pero quizás necesaria.”

TRANSLATION: "We can't eliminate the possibility of sacrificing some people, for the well being of the majority. Of course, that would be an extreme solution, but perhaps necessary."

The President's office later added that perhaps his remarks were "a bit hasty." And comfortingly added that, at the moment, there were no plans to sacrifice human swine flu victims to prevent the spread of the disease.

NOTE: Erin tells me this newspaper is Costa Rica's The Onion: satire. And just like The Onion, they nailed it. Swine, er, HiA hysteria has gotten so out of hand, a Final Solution seems the likely next step in "controlling the outbreak."

Because, meanwhile, the WHO, in its infinite wisdom, is seriously considering taking the alert level to 6, the highest level. Because this baby could backlash, coming back even stronger, causing people to, like, throw up or something.

Get this: leaders worldwide are taking credit for the flu not being very bad!!! They've "stopped the spread of the virus" by closing schools and soccer games. What bullshit. The thing ran its course, it's over, "leaders"... you had nothing to do with the severity or the spread or the duration. HiA got "out of hand" before you could do anything, except scare everyone who watches the MSM exclusively.

Okay, okay: maybe a few more people are washing their hands more frequently. Hopefully not with disinfectant soap, though. That teaches the germs to come back stronger.

The only way this thing could "backlash" - brace yourself, I'm now wearing my right-wing-extremist-conspiracy-theorist hat - is for some bio-terrorist in an unsuspecting third world country who has something ugly in a test tube to unleash it (which many people, including a few MSM guys, think is how this strain of swine flu came about), making the WHO, the CDC and Leaders right in their fear-mongering.

Because, otherwise, those guys and gals are going to look like total idiots for terrorizing the world over basically a cold and a headache.

Playing For Change

Not a huge fan of Bono's. I am a huge fan of using music to change the world. Love seeing musicians around the world doin' their thing - wow! If you get LINK TV in your land, you can see wonderful music videos from around the world plus some excellent documentaries. Waaaay better than regular TV! Except for Boston Legal. Peace.

P.S. Don't miss Don't Worry, One Love and Stand By Me... then there's this (playing for actual change):

You-Know-Who Agrees With Me

Love this guy. And this is from Monday. Common sense rules.