Luck

First, a little background music to set the tone: right click here and click on open in a new tab or window. The song should start playing automatically. Perfect song: Vive Ya [So Live, Already!]

"Don't minimize the importance of luck in determining life's course." - Alex Trebec

Man, you can say that again. All the best things have happened to me while I was out looking for something else.

My life plan was to marry Sean Penn, ultimate bad boy, and be a rich, famous Broadway star living between London and Malibu. I managed to screw that up by marrying a regular guy, a businessman. With a job yet. None of my other boyfriends had jobs; how did this happen? Big bonus: he also happens to be a libertarian wacko. I mean, how lucky can you get?

Then we find out we can't birth babies. ("Hallelujah," I say. Pretty lucky I feel that way, huh?) So then the universe drops Morgan and Ryan into our laps, pretty much out of the blue (thanks to Sherry, my adoption fairy godmother). You just can't get luckier than that.

"Fortune brings in some boats that are not steered." - William Shakespeare

But wait, there's more: luck sends four hurricanes in four months, stops my income, then gives us the bright idea to move to Costa Rica practically at the same moment. Then we do. Sometimes I look back and wonder how we made it through that first year. Geez, were we rubes or what? Luck had to play a part, there's just no other explanation for how we survived.

I'm here to testify that losing one's income does NOT make one feel lucky. Not at all. In fact, quite the opposite. It was Terrifying & Depressing. Especially at 50, especially with no pension or Roth or anything like that, especially looking forward to this economy (because it was clearly going to get worse before it got better) and especially when, everywhere you look, people are losing jobs and/or a good portion of their income. No, not lucky at all.

And, for most of those people, losing their mortgaged-to-the-hilt homes, too. I'm sorry, I can't drum up any sympathy for that consequence. First of all, most of my friends in the keys have been living in their foreclosure properties rent-free since we moved to Costa Rica. That's rent free for almost four years. Man, that's a lotta lemonade outta yer lemons.

Despite being overwhelmed with T&D, one could still grasp the beauty of the situation. Living rent free for four years, the benefits have to dawn on you at some point, unless you are already suicidal. So what, your credit's in the toilet? Who needs credit? What, you're going to go out house-hunting anytime soon with no job and a car payment you can barely afford thanks to Cash For Clunkers? I don't think so.

"Depend on the rabbit's foot, if you will, but remember it didn't work for the rabbit." - R.E. Shay

Losing that overpriced mortgage is a blessing. That pile of bricks is a house, not a home and it's never going to be worth enough to justify paying that mortgage for another minute. So, ok, when your bank finally forecloses, you'll have to move. Moving never killed anyone. Move in with mom. Ok, yeah, that might kill you. So move in with your bankrupt neighbor who is still living rent free because his bank hasn't foreclosed yet.

One friend went ahead and moved because she got sick of waiting for the bank notice to appear on her door. She rented the house to a guy, so she's got income from a house she basically no longer owns. That's like gourmet lemonade.

I guess there are people who can't make lemonade outta their lemons: acceptance is not in their tool bag. Not yet, anyway. They will, of course. U.S. citizens all have boot straps and we know how to use them. It's that initial realization period that is so shocking. I know families like ours that lived comfortably, not richly, but comfortably. Unexpectedly (because, you know, it always happens to the other guy), they lose something big (a job, a pension, insurance) and suddenly life is uncertain. Questions like, "what is going to happen next, where are we going to live" come to mind. Not only does day to day life change dramatically, many of their expectations, things they worked for, planned for, simply disappear. Poof. People who lost pensions and nest eggs... to me, that would be the hardest thing to accept. Lucky us, we never had one to lose.

"Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident." - Mark Twain

Financially speaking, the luckiest thing of all is that we accidentally had a year of adventure to distract us from the reality of our situation. During that year, whenever we thought of going back, we slowly became aware that the life we left behind didn't exist for us anymore. The work (real estate) was not coming back. We could no longer afford the house we left. Sushi dinners were out of the question. Clearly, we couldn't go back. Live in Key West without sushi? Not possible.

Our T&D at losing the old life was substantially mitigated during our first year of living abroad. We were too busy looking up words from street signs and trying to understand tico directions (Va alla = go that way with a sweeping wave of the arm) to be depressed for long. Today, our T&D is more like MA&W: Mild Anxiety & Wistfulness. By now, we know we'll think of something.

Here's my ace in the hole: if things get really bad, we'll sign up to teach English in China or Korea for a year. Escape, get paid, get a free place to live. Good idea, huh? I'm only sharing it because, at this moment, it doesn't look like we'll sign up for that adventure and I don't feel right hogging all the good ideas. I highly recommend the Living Abroad tactic to mitigate T&D brought on by extremely bad news. It works like a charm.

"The harder I work, the luckier I get." - Anonymous

The other thing is to start living like you've already lost it all. We figured this out in the nick of time. Stop spending. Stop eating out every meal. Work out a trade for sushi. Watch the cooking channel. Learn to sew and fix stuff instead of throwing it away. Grow a garden. If you haven't bought that clunker for cash, don't. Save every penny. There's the hard work part of staying lucky.

Oh, and buena suerte! [BWAIN-ah SWEAR-tay = good luck.]

"Those who have succeeded at anything and don't mention luck are kidding themselves." - Larry King

Comments

[Chuck]

I like it! Clearly you've received a good education, largely courtesy of Tico U.

...Chuck

[james]

I am quickly finding myself in the same kind of boat in which you are floating. Unemployed at 59 after 40 years of steady work and having spent all of my 401 K and then some to keep my modest life style for the last 15 months has left me in a state of wonder...I am wondering what happens next. I am watching your situation with more than just a passing interest.

I know of and email regularly an older gentleman who moved to Costa Rica 6 years ago. He found himself in a situation similar to mine only he was a bit older. He seems to have landed on his feet in Orosi and is living a modest life while trying to get used to the Tico culture. I suppose there is nothing very unique about getting cut loose from an economy. It's just that we Americans have no social net to fall back on as they do in many Europoean socialist countries. We are a throw-away work force and Costa Rica looks like one of the places some of us choose to dump ourserlves. That suits me. I love the place.

[Saratica]

I hear you, James. Sorry to hear about being afloat after so long! I'd say "come on down" but it's getting harder and harder to immigrate here. They are changing the laws which go into effect next Feb, so hurry. Unless you have a pension or substantial savings, you have to be a perpetual tourist leaving every 90 days. That can be fine if that suits you. If you can work online or get a teaching job (which will give you a work permit), excellent. It will be a modest lifestyle but it's a life. Medical care here is cheap! If any of this sounds appealing, come on down! Pura vida.

[james]

My understanding of new immigration rules has to do with a small increase in guaranteed income requirements. Are there other restrictions? My plan is to hold on here until early retirement in a few years.

After talking with a few expats, the biggest problem I see is a disenchantment with CR after a while. I think that stems from expectations. Happiness is dependent upon the ability to adjust expectations to one's situation. So many expats, coming from a frantic consumer society which is in a perpetual feeding frenzy find it difficult or impossible to adjust to a quieter and less materialistic society in Costa Rica. They expect the same availabilty of US consumer goods and the same level of service. After lifetimes of pursuit,aspiration for and consumption of these goods and services, expectations are difficult to adjust downward. I should think it would take more than a few years to adjust.

[Saratica]

From a pensionado's point of view, yes, the income increase is small: from $600/month to $1,000/month. But from a rentista's pov (we are rentista), it is relatively huge. From $60,000 in the bank for five years to $250,000 in the bank for five years. This will cut down on rentista's quite a bit. If you are holding on till early retirement, you will fit in the former category, very manageable, I think.

Yes, disenchantment. I think you hit the nail on the head. Culture shock is it. I think reading about it helps and I think the ability to travel back and forth after having made a commitment to living here for at least three years (one or two is just not enough) to ease the shock goes a long way to lasting thru the hard times (moments really).

[Teri]

It's not luck at all. It's your ability to make lemonade from lemons. The smart ones survive here and learn to live within their means, like you did. I'm so glad you came and stayed in CR. You and your family are amazing and a good example for others!! -t

[Bill Marshall]

The thing ex-pats have to realize is that in Costa Rica it is their culture, not ours, and we have to adjust to it. It also helps immeasurably to know or learn Spanish! We really should make that effort, that is the native tongue. I have heard too many Americans say that immigrants to the U.S. should learn English. The oppsite is also true.

[Saratica]

I don't think anyone here is saying "those ticos better learn our ways." Some people are just not able to adjust to a foreign culture. They aren't bad or wrong... just aren't able to for whatever reason. It's hard as hell to do - after almost four years, I'm still working on it. And the language. Yikes.

For the record, I don't say immigrants "should" learn the native tongue. I don't care one way or the other. If you don't learn it, though, don't complain when you can't get along.

[ex-expat]

From $60,000 in the bank for five years to $250,000 in the bank for five years.

Is that real? You can pretty much guarantee that rentistas would practically be extinct. Its basically families planning to move that are affected by this. Here's what will probably happen, 1) pensionados won't be affected much. 2) almost no more younger family types would migrate, those absolutely determined would have a kid born there 3) younger guys planning to move would marry for convenience.

[Saratica]

Yep: you nailed it. They are changing the baby back door policy somewhat but I don't know those details. And they say they are going to crack down on the marriage thing... I guess cameras in the bedroom?

The thing is it doesn't benefit them in any way - they don't get to touch the $250K. It stays in the rentista's name and personal bank account. Unless having the bank be "richer" in deposits helps the gov? The only way they may benefit is by having a richer expat on the ground.

But, you know, rich expats don't shop at Mas x Menos... maybe they want expats here but outta sight except in Escazú... I can't figure it out.