A Broad In Costa Rica

"Klaatu Barada Nikto"

This, of course, is the famous command from The Day The Earth Stood Still. It loosely translates to "Gort, stop!" Gort being the lead alien who was hell bent on taking over the world. If I'm not mistaken, I believe Gort means George in English.

I saw this movie when I was 8 or 9 years old and I remember being scared out of my wits. I couldn't sleep for fear of Gort's jaws opening and the death ray shooting out from it. I memorized the words "Klaatu barada nikto" and would go around repeating it over and over again, terrified I'd forget it right at the moment I'd actually need it. A drama queen at 8. Scary.

I was also absolutely terrified of Reddy Kilowatt. I would lie awake at night, fixated on the electrical outlet across the room from my bed. I KNEW Reddy was in there, waiting until I fell asleep before he'd come out and dance on my chest. It's a wonder I ever got any sleep at all. Or that I'm not in therapy.

Living in Costa Rica, I sleep great! I'm not terrified of anything. Er, much. Sadly, as a U.S. citizen, I've been too trained for too long to not find something to terrify me. Today's terror fix came thru in this scary little short from the MSM: The Day King George Was Crowned. Should make for some sleepless nights.

All together now: "GORT, KLAATU BARADA NIKTO!!!!" (Or, in English: "GEORGE, STOP!!!") There. That should do it. It helps being 3000 miles away, let me tell you.

Take A Chill Pill

This from today's A.M. Costa Rica:

Our readers' opinions
Airport security glitch makes this visitor angry

"Dear A.M. Costa Rica:

My wife and I currently live in Florida, and we are considering moving to Costa Rica.  As such I have been to Costa Rica several times a year in the past couple of years looking at real estate and learning about the country.  I am going back in October to look at some property in Escazú.

However, my most recent trip to Costa Rica in June left me scratching my head when it came to airport security at Juan Santamaría.  After checking in for our departure flight back to the U.S., we had to get in the only line available  to go though security to get to the departure gates.

As we got to the metal detector we had to place carry on bags on the conveyor belt to the left of the metal detector so they could be scanned.  What astounded us was that people were placing digital cameras, cell phones, I pods, and other small electronic devices into a wooden box as they passed through the metal detector.

The wooden box was then passed around the metal detector so people could get their devices back.  We watched this happen over and over as the line moved forward.
I was shocked.  Small electronic devices were not being scanned, and were being allowed to be passed around the metal detector.  These devices were large enough to conceal a small gun, knives, mace, explosives, etc.

When we got to Atlanta, I notified a Delta pilot of what we saw. I also e-mailed the U.S. Department of Homeland Security on the matter.  I am not sure if anything was done.

In the U.S. you can not pass electronic items around the security screening process, and I have no idea why this was being done over and over in front of security in Juan Santamaría.  I found it extremely illogical and without any consideration to safety.  On the other side of the security sit large jet aircraft that carry 1,000s of people a day to the U.S. and elsewhere.

I will be checking this out again when I return in October.  If the same process is in place, I will be making quite a vocal stink about it at the airport and I will demand to see the head of security.

John Brier
Pensacola, Florida"

And here's my response which I just emailed off... probably prematurely... sigh:

"Please, John Brier, DON’T move to Costa Rica. Don’t come here to change things. Stay in the U.S. with your beloved Homeland Security and make a stink with them. Maybe you can get them to instigate strip searches… ‘Cause, ya know, you can hide a plastic knife in your sock."

Hal wrote an excellent article on the subject here: The Goo Bombers. Pretty funny. Pretty sad.

Key West Crackdown

This from Joe April, head of Key West Code Enforcement:

"We are taking care of it [illegal signs] to the best of our ability," April said. "There's only so many of us, and we have to deal with illegal contractors, illegal rentals and trash and everything. Sometimes it takes months to get it solved. They claim they have First Amendment rights, and we have to tell them they don't."

God, I miss you guys.