A Broad In Costa Rica

Culturally Confusing

I fired Maid #5 today. I'm getting pretty good at it now. Let's call her Dani. Dani was fired for stealing, just like the last four. She's worked for me for about a year and a half. I found her through a friend, Lori, who's employed her for 8 years. Eight years... I thought I couldn't miss with this recommendation.

Dani worked two 5-hour days a week for Lori, the same for me. We paid her close to $5/hour, not including vacation days, CAJA (national health care) and aguinaldo [ah-gwi-NAL-dough, Christmas bonus). We gave her clothes, told her to eat what she wanted. We were very good to her. Not that that makes any difference whatsoever. I guess I expected her to be grateful. What does that say about me? Yuck. Clearly, I got some cultural s--t on my side of the fence, too.

About two months ago, she started bringing her granddaughter to work with her. I don't know why, but red flags started going cha-ching in my head. Quietly, at first, in the background, silenced by the ADORABLE granddaugher. Oh my goodness: curly hair, precious little voice calling, "Noni! Donde esta?" [Nana, where are you?] I'm a sucker for little girls.

Did I mention when the boys were little I dressed them in girl clothes, painted their nails and put lipstick on them? Don't tell them I told you that. Little girls are so cool. That's Belle with the boys, my friend Penny's little girl who now towers over me (like who doesn't) and is the closest I came to having a girl. Penny got to buy cute clothes with matching purses.

And lately, I felt a different energy from Dani. I don't know exactly what tipped me off, but, suddenly, I was suspicious. And then I started noticing things were gone. I went to find a lightbulb, I knew I had two but couldn't find them. Maybe the boys used them? Hal mentioned in passing that we were running out of glassware. Our kitchen towel supply was running low. Didn't I just buy a big tub of laundry detergent? Weren't there more bars of soap in that drawer? I thought we had more AA batteries than that. What happened to all the canned tuna?

So I started watching her purse when she arrived and when she left. Did it look the same? I was dismayed to notice, that, no, it wasn't the same. It was definitely fatter when she left. I hated discovering that.

I called Lori and told her my suspicions. She said she had had doubts in the past, here and there, but nothing worth pursuing. Her house is much neater than mine with only two people, so it would be more noticeable if things went missing. The next day, Dani cleaned Lori's house. Late in the day, Lori looked in Dani's purse and found a roll of toilet paper. Bummer.

Here's the first culturally puzzling thing: Lori took the toilet paper out of Dani's bag without mentioning it. Now, you know Dani noticed, right? But not a word. She's due at my house the next day... what am I going to do?

As much I hate to, I do it: I look in her purse late in the day while she is downstairs mopping. I find a plastic baggie full of oatmeal, a nice new dishtowel and two torn ones (?), a folded up tshirt and something else I can't identify during a quickie peek. I take out the new dishtowel and close the bag. I can't tell you how disappointed I was. I don't know the word to describe the feeling I had about someone stealing from me, even though it's happened so many times before. But Dani is lovely in every other way. I like her and I believe she likes me. "Violated" is much too strong a word, even for expensive batteries. But it's something along those lines.

Before you think she is starving, she is not. Does she need these things? Define need. She can certainly live without them. Can she use them? Absolutely. So far as I can tell, she only stole things she can use. I doubt she's selling batteries to buy drugs or pizza.

Here's the really culturally puzzling thing I can't quite wrap my head around: I don't think she calls it stealing. I think she thinks that I have it, I can afford it, I have plenty of it, she's not taking much, she has way less than me... so she deserves to have some of it.

It's like the Latin way of saying, "The dishes broke today," rather than, "I broke the dishes today." No ownership.

Today, when I was firing her (all in Spanish, by the way), I told her I looked in her purse and saw my things in there. At one point, she said, "I never took any books or money." Like that made the other stuff ok - she obviously thought that. I told her it didn't matter what she took, it was that she took.

You know, she never looked down, never looked ashamed, yet I felt guilty about spying in her purse. She was upset and wanted to keep the job, promised she'd never do it again. But no comprehension that she'd done something wrong. I don't hold this against her. Guilt is worthless and shame can be harmful. But I find it culturally curious. She was very upset she was losing the job. She signed my letter stating why I was firing her. I gave her a copy and, even though I fired her for stealing, I still had to pay her vacation pay (about $180) and aguinaldo ($200).

She left. I cried, I wonder if she did. I'm curious to hear how she reacts tomorrow at Lori's house. Lori will not fire her, but she will tell Dani she knows all, she will take back her house keys and, from now on, she will check Dani's bag before she leaves the house. I wonder if Dani will be angry at me for firing her, or if she will be sorry she lost half her income with no chance of referral to a new position.

Here's the last puzzling cultural oddity: if Dani is remorseful, which would indicate she (might) not steal again, I would consider hiring her back. She was the best cleaner I've had in four years. She is quiet, works hard, lovely. Even now, I can't say a bad word about her. Except for the whole stealing thing... which I don't think she thinks is stealing. See? I'm culturally confused.

P.S. I asked for a lot of advice from friends. It's all right here in pdf format, from direct to hard to soft. Some good ideas for any kind of employer/employee relationship, but particularly aimed at this cultural divide.

Squatters

A woman wrote to me recently about buying a house in Key West. Once she found out I live in Costa Rica, she wrote this:

I have a question since you are living in Costa Rica. This is where my husband originally wanted to get a home. We had even started to look when we were told there is a really bad problem with people stealing and/or homesteading your property if you left it to go anywhere. Have you found this to be true? Linda

Hi Linda,

That is all true. When we leave to go anywhere, we hire a person to stay in our home, about $300/month. Right now, my mom lives with us so when she goes on a trip, we are here. When we go on a trip, she is here. We also have three dogs, so we'd have to hire someone anyway if mom weren't here.

If you leave your property alone for any length of time with no one checking on it occasionally, squatters will move in. There is a way to protect yourself from this - you put a lien on your property yourself so no one would bother; I can tell you who to talk to about this [Garland Baker]. But squatters have rights here and you have to be on guard.

Petty theft is rampant in Costa Rica. At our house, we have a monitored alarm system, bars on the windows and razor wire on our fence. We keep our doors locked and are very aware of the problem. As gringos (native speakers of English), we are targets. No matter how poor we really are, we will never be as poor as the poor here.

That said, this is the worst thing about life here. As a wise woman told me (over and over again because I never hear anything the first time it's said), "Everything has a price. Ask yourself are you willing to pay it?" Living with the threat of petty thievery, for us, is far better than living in the U.S., especially right now. Costa Rica is peaceful and beautiful, no terror alerts, no para-military police. The market is soft, but they just don't have the problems here they are having in the U.S.

Costa Rica is worth investigating, but petty theft aside, the culture is very different. We came here for a year planning to go home at the end of it. But we fell in love with living here so decided to stay. I strongly suggest renting here first for six months to a year, then make the decision. You will love it or hate it; you want to find out before you buy. In the big picture, life here is definitely worth considering.

--

Squatters are a huge problem* here. If you own property and leave it, you could lose your right to it or to parts of it. The vaquero [va-CARE-oh, cowboy] who lives around the corner from us wanted to hook up a hose to our outside faucet. He lives in a house with no running water... I can't even begin to describe the house. We said yes; he hooked up a long hose and had running water for awhile. I mentioned this to a friend and she said unhook that immediately. After three months, he can earn the right to use the water and you will be obligated to supply his water for life.

Is this true? Seems outrageous, but, after everything I've read and heard and learned, I think there is some truth to it. For now, I can't begin to decipher the laws here. And in other situations, like with squatters and employees, ticos can earn the right to all kinds of things you never meant to promise. You need a very good advisor here.

*Clarification: When I say squatters are a "huge" problem, I mean huge as in if it happens to you it's quite the struggle. Not huge as in it happens to everyone once... I have no idea what the statistic would be on how many people per year have a problem with squatters. If it happens to you, you will understand what I mean by "huge" problem.

In America

"In America, you'll get food to eat. Don't have to run through the jungle and scuff up your feet. You'll just sing about Jesus and drink wine all day. It's great to be an American."
                      - from Sail Away, Randy Newman's clever slave-trade ditty

All true, so far. We're here in the good ole U.S. of A. Hal's mom was not well (she's better now), Spirit Air had tickets for $250 each = a good time to see what's up here. I guess the USA is still the same... but a few things struck me right off. Like:

• Once the shock of Naples' grandiosity subsided, it feels like we never left (Hal's mom lives in Naples)
• Cottage cheese is the best thing since sliced bread. We've eaten at least one large container a day.
• We are doing all day here what we do all day there: sit in front of our computers for work and play. Does it matter where we are?
• For all my whining about missing my buddies, we've seen and actually talked to those buddies more during our visits in the last two years than we did the 25 years before that. Ok, that's a slight exaggeration, but not far off...
• There are fewer people here who are really important to me than I thought. The really important people are in my radar no matter where I am in the world.
• Everything in Florida is flat, not a hill in sight. Except for the...
• Convoluted highways with overpasses three and four deep
• Drivers know how to merge
• Going 80mph
• Girls as tall as Morgan (6' 1")
• $2.50 tolls
• Too much English spoken
• Everybody comes to a complete stop at stoplights, then they wait till it turns green to go. What a concept.
• Country music on the radio
• All the roads have names. In Naples, they all have two-word names, like Rattlesnake Hammock Drive and Imperial Wilderness Way.
• I have not seen one guy peeing on the side of the road
• No farm animals tied up to people's houses
• No farm animals being herded through town
• No farm animals grazing along the road
• No farm animal poop anywhere
• If you don't jam on the gas pedal the second the light turns green, no one honks their horn
• Restaurants are EXPENSIVE. I will never not complain about Costa Rica's restaurants.
• Even though we constantly chat amongst our expat selves over there about how civil liberties are being sacrificed right and left over here, when you are here, you don't even notice. Which is, of course, how they get away with it.
• Everyone says "cahstah" Rica, even after hearing us say "coast-ah" Rica.

Have we really been gone two years? I feel like I stepped through a wormhole. The only way I know it's been so long is that I'm different: calmer, happier. And the boys have doubled in size. Otherwise, it seems so regular to be here.

I admit it: I love Key West. I love seeing my girlfriends, I love seeing Key West so green and lush - it's finally recovered from Wilma. The houses are so pretty, the streets so whole. The town maintains a prosperous air (even though it is most decidedly not.) A pretty, sunny, familiar face.

I spent last week running around, doing unexpected business. Like I got a new property management customer, wrote an offer for a buyer on a foreclosure (plenty of those around), joined forces with a long-time REALTOR® here, met with a REALTOR® up the keys who's had a Costa Rica real estate office in Heredia for 25 years. Perhaps I will do some referral work with her.

From here on out, it's playtime. Like there is some very fine music to be enjoyed. Photo left: Skipper Kripitz, Leanna Collins and Gordy Michaels make the jazz at The Gardens Hotel on Sunday Afternoons.

I saw a local dance company's beautiful production at the Waterfront Playhouse, one of the three busy theatres here. Starting top left in the photo is Kyra and Andres (oh my God, you cannot take your eyes off Andres), then Leigh, Denis (ditto Denis) and Mary Kay. Real honest-to-God dancers.

The Robert Frost Festival starts next week. Key West is famous for its talent. I'm suddenly very aware of it and determined to enjoy as much as possible. Because, you know, I'm a singer in a geezer band now. Gotta stay up with my people.

Key West's real estate market is suffering badly and the worst is yet to come. Like a house I sold (not pictured) for $850,000 the winter of '05 is now going for $350,000. I've heard of others. "Deals" like this are just now making the Coconut Telegraph. Countrywide has $500M in loans here in Key West; $90M are in foreclosure. The snowball is at the top of the mountain. Once all these foreclosures hit the local MSM, it's all she wrote. I'm thinking the bottom will appear in the next year to two years. Unless you are a savvy real estate buyer, save your money.

"Ain't no lions or tigers, ain't no mamba snake. Just the sweet watermelon and the buckwheat cake. Ev'rybody is as happy as a man can be. Climb aboard, little wog, sail away with me."

After being stateside these past few days, a Deep Thought crystallized. I've circled this bridge before and nobody wants to hear me say it out loud, least of all my husband. It's practically blasphemy in the expat world. But here it is: Costa Rica is not cheap enough to justify how hard the day-to-day life is. Hard being mostly culture shock, roads and crime. Feeling like a target all the time is wearing on a body. As is being jostled around in your car practically every minute you are in it.

It's not all bad: I love the life there. I'm looking forward to going back. We've made excellent friends. Nothing would have forced us to think outside the income box except living where that's the only option. Besides, what would my geezer band do without me?

If I were rich, where would I live right now? I'd live in Costa Rica and travel on a whim, no contest. But we're not rich and cost of living is key: it was a major consideration when choosing Costa Rica. Yes, there are places in the U.S. cheaper than Costa Rica. Not that I want to actually live any of those places, but at this point in my life, I'll consider anything. Necessity and all that.

In a year, Key West will be affordable. The really critical thing is: I can work here. I've LOVED working the past few days. I like earning money, I like dressing up and doing my thing. I spent twelve years building a business, then just walked out. I could still walk back in - that is compelling. I guess I miss that more than I thought.

Here's something else that been eating at me lately: the boys can get jobs here. They are ready and it's not possible in Costa Rica. Probably seems like a little thing to you, but niggling at me...

Plus there's Hansa's cooking. Oh my goodness. Spicy, delicious vegetarian food. Hansa can cook and I'm always welcome at her table. Like tonight. She told me I can go on YouTube and find videos for making her recipes. While her dishes are so exotic to me, I guess they are "everyday" in India... if I cooked in Costa Rica like Hansa cooks in Key West, I'll bet our food bill would be way cheaper!

For now, I'll keep pretending I'm rich: living in Costa Rica, traveling on a whim. One day at a time. This sure seems to be working for us. Funny, every time I think this issue is settled, something comes along to rattle that cage.

"In America every man is free to take care of his home and his family. You'll be as happy as a monkey in a monkey tree. You're all gonna be an American."

Self Defense Training & Another Perspective

James has a company called Costa Rica Patrol. I wrote to him asking about his self-defense classes and also to see if he would come to our house, advise us on our household security measures. He is coming... looking forward to hearing what he says.

In this video, he is teaching the Belen fuerza pública [FWAIR-sa, strong; POO-blee-kah, public] [which is, by the way, the only armed force in the country] some pretty standard techniques. Seems they are graduated from the Escuela Nacional de Policía [s-QUAY-la, school; nah-see-oh-NALL, national; day, of; poe-lee-SEE-ah, police] without knowing ANY of this stuff! Glad James is around... get over here to Escazú!!!

You can see a couple more videos here.

And my friend Laurie was standing in line yesterday (in line? what a surprise!)... well, I'll let her tell it:

As usual, some of my best opportunities for practicing Spanish occur while standing in line at the caja [KAH-ha, cash register]. Mostly I seem to get a lot of great listening practice because there's always at least one woman in the line with me who decides, after a VERY brief discussion, that my Spanish is muy [MOO-ee: say it fast, rhymes with buoy, very], bueno [BWAY-no, good].

Yesterday the very talkative and interesting Tica standing behind me in the line informed me, after asking where I am from, that she would not want to live in the U.S. Her reason?

"En Costa Rica tenemos ladrones, pero en estados unidos hay bombas."*

"In Costa Rica, we have thieves, but in the U.S. there are bombs."

Interesting, I thought, that this was her reaction to learning that I was from the United States (the state of Maine, no less, a fairly peaceful place).

Still seconding that emotion...

*En [In, in]
tenemos [ten-A-mohs, we have]
ladrones [la-DRONE-ace, thieves]
pero [PAIR-oh, but]
estados unidos [ay (rhymes with hay) -STAH-dohs, states; oo-KNEE-dohs, united]
hay [aye like the pirates say, there are]
bombas [BOME (rhymes with tome)-bahss...]

Laptop Security

After all the hullaballoo about armed robberies, thefts, etc... Well, it's all pretty depressing but you can't dwell on it if you are going to live here. Like you can't dwell on loss of civil liberties and working the first six months of your year to pay your share of taxes if you are going to live in the U.S. For now, we prefer here, guns 'n all.

I also saw three movies recently that make my little problems seem insignificant. About a month ago, I watched Ghosts of Abu Ghraib on HBO. I didn't want to sit through this movie; fortunately, I couldn't look away. Very powerful.

Last weekend, I saw Why We Fight on Cinemax. Then a documentary about an Iranian woman's life on CSpan: forced to marry at 13, husband finally died, struggling to make it although glad to be rid of the big oaf... compared to her life, compared to the lives of the women struggling to make it in La Carpio? Compared to the mindless truck-drivers* at Abu Ghraib? I have no problems.

On top of that, I now have bullet-proof laptop security... for after it's been stolen, but still better than nothing! Now I can keep my data secure, thwart any future users and then find the darn thing! We use all these products:

1. Carbonite is an online backup service that works in the background, continuously. $50 a year. Well worth it. The first big back-up takes a few days and does not interfere with your connection speed. After that, it backs up all the time. Music, photos, documents... my hard drive is 80 gigs and FULL. Carbonite has it all!

2. There is a free program called The Laptop Lock. If your laptop is stolen, this freezes the data, can erase it securely, can find it by recording the IP address... AND IT'S FREE!

3. PGP (Pretty Good Privacy) is an excellent encryption software so if it's stolen, you will have double protection to either erase your data or encrypt it so NO ONE can get into it.

Note: Please use the links here to investigate the products I promote - they are affiliate links and I will make a commission if you buy something. It doesn't cost you a penny more to buy through the link. I use every product I promote. Except the google ads... I have little control over those. If I could eliminate the real estate ads, I would... Be nice to see something interesting for sale on there!!!

*Truck-drivers is a reference to all the mindless order-followers who drove fellow human beings to the gas chambers. Just doing their jobs. No questions asked. Like they were taught to do.

Discussions With Other Expats on The Break-In

Over the past couple of days, there has been lots of discussion about my friend's break-in and crime in particular on the Costa Rica Living Group board. If you are thinking of moving here, I recommend joining. Lots of good info from people who live here now. So far, no one is moving out and no one seems to have changed their plans to move here. That's encouraging - we are not alone in that assessment.

One of the members - who I've met and who has given me great advice - talks about safes. That, yes, any safe can be broken into given enough time. If you have a Real Safe and are not in the house for six months, that safe can likely be compromised. If you are not there for a few hours and you have a Real Safe, your stuff is secure.

The problem with a safe is that, if someone breaks into your house with a gun and holds it to your son's head (one of the thieves held a gun to my friend's daughter's head), you will open anything they want. I think this is why armed break-ins are more and more common: if someone is there, they will tell you where the good stuff is.

We don't have a Real Safe simply because we have nothing to put in it... I'm afraid of NOT having anything to give them... will they believe me?

On the Gallo Pinto board, there was a post about LoJack for Computers, so if someone steals your computer, it can be found anywhere in the world. LoJack guarantees this. There is also a story in their sales blurb about a computer being recovered in Costa Rica.

We've decided to put up a sign (in Spanish) stating the facts next to our electric meter:

- ADT wireless monitored alarm system
- You are being videotaped right now ("Sonrisa! Usted esta in video!" - Smile, you are on camera)
- Entire perimeter monitored by video
- Occupants are armed and can shoot straight
- All electronics are LoJack enabled - we can trace our equipment anywhere in the world and you will be caught

I don't want a sign like this on my house, but I surely want to discourage thieves. Even if it's only the timid ones. I'm going with the "prevention is better than cure" approach. I don't want to have to shoot my gun or call LoJack or monitor my video 24/7. I want to discourage any attempt at all. I'm also fairly confident thieves want your stuff, not trouble.

One poster noted that if you have all the barbed wire, dogs, "owner armed" signs, alarm signs... this will scare off timid thieves but tell the bolder ones you have something worth stealing.

Sorry, but if you are a gringo, ladrones KNOW you have something worth stealing. If you live in a big house in Escazú, the odds go up dramatically. Even an old house like ours... I guess we could move out of here but I don't want to move! I like my house and Escazú. Having to put up - even thinking I have to put up - a sign like this is very discouraging. But all in all, we still love living in Costa Rica.

Besides, I've heard from enough people, both here and in the U.S., that while moving out of Escazú might lessen our break-in chances - particularly armed ones, it won't cure it. I'll still be living in a fortress. I'm not a campo kinda gal, so the deep country is out for me.

People in the U.S. say don't go back there, it's no fun. Admittedly, these are people who read my blog and this board so they are predisposed to wanting to move to Costa Rica. So far, we don't see going back as the cure. That would be a bitter pill.

Knee-Jerk Reactions

Jacqueline's pistol-whipping break-in, along with everything else I wrote about yesterday, is upsetting our apple cart. Not to mention today's A.M. Costa Rica article about how the I.R.S. is "helping" Costa Rica redefine it's income tax laws. Because, you know, the U.S. is the expert when it comes to owning its citizens. Apparently, Costa Rica sees this as a good thing.

Back in the discussion of the surprise dollar devaluation against the colón, I totally skipped reporting on the inflation rate. El pais [pie-EESE, country] says it's 10%. My pocketbook - and those of other expats - say it's at least 20%. More like 25%. So the $3K/month we live on now will be $3,600 next year. We have yet to find a savings account offering 20%. It's not just me whining. Pensionados living on fixed incomes as well as plenty of other expats are concerned by these facts.

We love Costa Rica, we love our life here, the quality of which is still better than in the U.S. To stay, we'll justify almost anything. Money is not the biggest concern. We have to earn a living. If we can't do it here or an opportunity drives us somewhere else, well, we'll just have to deal with that. But earning a living is like the Cost of Doing Business factor. A fact of life, not an emotional breaking point.

The pistol-whipping break-in of a neighbor and friend is an emotional breaking point. Look at your kids and your old mom and your three goofy dogs and justify that.

I guess my Costa Rica pink cloud phase is over. This particular event has definitely turned our thinking upside-down, if only for the moment. So much so that Hal and I just tippy-toed around The Discussion. You know, the one about moving.

We HATE to see the violence take this turn. If we stay in this house, we need cameras, more plastic roofing material to block anyone seeing into our yard - which has the added benefit of looking Trailer Trashy enough so we don't look really rich, and getting automatic combination locks installed on our doors. We can do all these things and not feel anymore fortress-y than we do now. Our house is VERY secure; J's was not... I could have broken into J's house.

But that's not really the point. We don't mind living in The Fortress. We just don't want to have to defend it...

Our options are to 1) stay here; 2) move out of Escazú to a less-gringo rich area; 3) move to another country; 4) return to the states. Everything has a price. What are we willing to pay - in dollars, sanity, personal safety - in exchange for the best quality of life for our family?

Moving back to the states would make earning a living much easier, just logistics-wise, if nothing else. The U.S. is still familiar territory; until you've experienced culture shock, you won't understand how deeply those ties bind and pull, especially when something scary happens in your foreign home. Still, we are not so naive as to believe if we moved from Costa Rica to Gainesville, we would not seriously doubt our sanity.

A new country is out for now. For starters, starting over would be hell. And expensive. The learning curve is tremendous. Even if English or Spanish were the native tongue, conquering a new land might be fun in a few years, but not yet. Besides: we aren't done here.

Moving out of Escazú is a real possibility. I am definitely going to explore that. As long as my maid will come with me.

And Costa Rica, for all those negatives I mentioned, is still a magically beautiful place peopled by interesting, peaceful... people. I'll bet actual money those robbers were not ticos. If we ran away, we'd be very, very sad.

Honestly, most of my disappointments are brought on by my First World expectations. There are still no mass shootings in malls, schools and churches here. Because SSRIs are not prescribed like candy. It's a fact that the world is more dangerous everywhere. No IRS here. Yet. We don't own property so tax hikes don't affect us.

So... still here. Today. Not taking this lightly at all. Just working to avoid knee jerk reactions while evaluating options and the paying of prices. In the meantime, I'm installing cameras, changing locks. And expanding the Trailer Trash look into the back yard. I am from KY after all. This will make me feel right at home.

Back Down

Ok, this is ridiculous. I'm having a flood of anti-Costa Rica experiences. Maybe if I get them out of my system, this rock in my gut will disappear.

IN THE NEWS. Don Oscar seems hellbent on getting Costa Rica into the 21st century. Only I don't approve of the way he's going about it. I don't know why he didn't think to ask me first, but he didn't.

On the plus side, he's fixing the roads - lots of painting activity, new timed streetlights in downtown San José, spending millions making the center of downtown into a paved walking mall. He is finally replacing the Oh Shit and the Oh My God bridges between Jacó and Quepos. Although I will miss them. Crossing those babies is an adventure worth having all on its own! If you've never driven over them, come now. It's worth the trip.

He has a contract signed to finish a highway between Orotina and the Pacific. He has another to pave the road between Quepos and Dominical, which is now a real gut-wrencher. He's gone around the world begging off on Costa Rica's debt. He's hot to put in the international airport just south of Dominical. He promises to eradicate poverty in 50 years. Some might say he's a dreamer.

On the other hand, he severed ties with Taiwan, a long time very active supporter of Costa Rica, in favor of China over imports and money. Maybe that is better for Costa Rica in the long run, I don't pretend to know. But I wouldn't dump a loyal friend for a better looking richer more powerful murdering thug sort of friend.

He signed CAFTA into law, something else I really don't comprehend. Judging from all the discussions about it, does anyone? But if the U.S. wanted Costa Rica to sign it, experience says it's really only good for the U.S.

He is sending Costa Rica's cops to the School of the Americas - now called Western Hemisphere Institute for Security Cooperation (oddly, my browser detected that its security certificate was not in order) and so infamous for its tactics it has its own Watch - for training. Great. Last year, he promised he wouldn't after doing it once, but he's decided they really do need S.W.A.T. training. As my husband likes to point out, when you have a hammer, everything starts to look like a nail.

The U.S. Coast Guard can now bring its vessels into Costa Rica's ports. You know, for the Drug War. Which is being lost on every front by every account. But everyone should keep spending money on it, yes indeedy, and every other country needs to get in on the game. One day, maybe we can imprison and/or kill all the drug users. Then we'll be safe from... temptation.

There's been a rash of bank thefts lately: money taken right out of people's accounts. Flat out stolen and the banks accept no responsibility. No FDIC. They claim account holders have given away their passwords in phishing scams. I could understand one or two dummies. But we're talking about $8M in losses, several different banks. Seems the banks let plenty of money be transferred out of accounts in excess of the daily limits with no notice... Looks to all the rest of us like an inside job.

Speaking of inside jobs: a friend told us his banker called last week to verify that his wife was in L.A. requesting a wire transfer. Huh? Apparently a guy named Rodrigo Areyas had called the bank trying to set up a transfer, saying the wife had requested it. Well, not only was his wife sitting right beside him, who the hell was Rodrigo Areyas? They never found out.

The other REALLY fishy thing was that his account was in a corporation name. One bought from someone else, so his and his wife's names do not appear ANYWHERE on this account. Except on the signature cards. Explain that with phishing.

Yesterday's big news is that Costa Rica's property assessor re-assessed all the properties on the coast and presented tax bills with some whopping increases. Like from $300 a year to $6,600 a year. That'll take some cheer out of the holiday season. Not to mention put a damper on property sales.

It's not so much the money, although $6,600 is a pretty major tax bill, comparable to Key West properties. Our tax bill in north Florida for 10 acres of dirt featuring the world's most poorly constructed mobile home was less than $500 a year. Costa Rica has higher tax bills than Florida? More than the money, it's the fact it happened overnight, with no warning. This is the very thing that scares off extranjeros [x-trahn-HAIR-ohs, foreigners] from buying property in developing nations. Change without warning, insecurity, instability.

Panama is suffering this insecurity as well: their government just reduced, without warning, the tourist visa from 90-days-easily-renewable, to 30 days and you have to apply and be approved for a renewal... If you own property in Panama you intended to visit several months of the year, you'll spend all your time at migración applying for extensions.

So that's all the bad stuff I can think of right now. Oh, wait. Except for this...

I just called my friend Jacqeline to ask her about a volunteer event being held tomorrow. She was pretty much a wreck because she and her family were robbed at gunpoint in her house last night. They live in a big gringo style house right outside Escazú. Her husband, his visiting friend, her 3 year old daughter and her. All home.

The thieves, three guys with guns, police scanners and ski masks, jimmied the pedestrian metal door on her driveway gate, got it open, ran in, threw themselves into her plate glass window, took six laptops (three were broken which gives her some satisfaction), a big screen TV (which they broke getting out of the house which makes her practically gleeful.) And they tied up and pistol whipped her husband and the friend in front of her daughter.

J was at the back door when they broke in the gate. She ran out and climbed over their 10' high fence, dropped into her neighbor's yard, calling the police on her cel phone, got a big gash in her foot along with multiple bruises and scrapes... her neighbors called the cops, too. The cops CAME - which is very good news - got there in about 20 minutes. Not bad on these roads with directions around here: "Turn left at the burned out building..."

The thieves heard the cops were coming on the scanners and left before they could take anything else.

So. This sucks big time. It was one thing when the ladrones just waited for the house to be empty. Now they are armed, mean-spirited and don't give a shit if you are there or not. There were two regulation guys in J's house, but they broke in anyway, ran right past the dogs. I am not liking this one little bit. Not one tiny speck.

To make me feel completely schizo - up down up down up down - we got two boxes today. One from the Bortmans (who, you will remember, deserted us almost exactly a year ago) filled with candy and homemade cards from the kids - very sweet. And one from my dear friend Jan with books, more candy, TRISCUITS, fuzzy socks for me, two wind up Halloween toys and about 100 pairs of socks to give away. Lemme tell ya, candy and fuzzy socks are sure coming in handy right now.

OK. This Is Slightly Worse.

When I printed the Tico Times story on the theft in Jacó, I had not read the A.M. Costa Rica report (scroll down to the second page) which gives more detail. The ENTIRE story, if you will.

So the thieves got to make death threats to the couple, no money was returned, a few items reportedly recovered were actually not recovered... it sounds like the whole recovery process was a joke. Couple made to wait around several hours while nothing was accomplished. Add in a little sexual harassment to complete the package... And to top it all off,  the thieves were released... WTF?

Madness to have your stuff in your car at the beach in Jacó while you get in the ocean. I wouldn't do that in 'Lauderdale. But, like wearing tight clothes doesn't mean you invite rape, being foolish with your belongings doesn't excuse theft.

Nice going, Costa Rica. Kill my book sales and the darn thing isn't even out. I am NOT happy with you. This whole "death threat" thing has got to stop. Or else.

The Worst Thing About Costa Rica:

This Tico Times story illustrates the only reason I would leave Costa Rica. Petty theft is rampant here and there is no consequence. None. As in zero. Unless spending one night in the slammer is considered a consequence. It's clearly not a deterrent.

I'm not afraid of petty theft - we had plenty of that in Key West. Plenty of that everywhere. But if it got violent, if armed robbery escalated here - there is some but even then it's rarely violent - but if it escalated and there were still no consequence, I couldn't live with that. All emphasis mine.

Robbery Victims Frustrated by Police's Actions

By Blake Schmidt, Tico Times Staff

An English teacher and a yoga instructor from the United States yesterday said they are frustrated with the way Costa Rican authorities handled the robbery of their car Saturday while they were headed for an afternoon dip in the ocean at Playa Hermosa [where I am right now], on the central Pacific coast.

Though the two reclaimed only some of their belongings and ended up missing about $400 cash, the Public Security Ministry reported Sunday that Tourism Police recovered $10,300 belonging to Grace. [Not true. Why would the Tourism Police report they'd recovered $10,300 when that is not true? To make themselves look more effective?]

U.S. citizen Phil Hemion -- a teacher and resident of Heredia, north of San José -- said he and his friend Melissa Grace, a resident of the central Pacific beach town of Jacó and yoga instructor, looked on helplessly from the beach Saturday while three suspects in a Geo Tracker broke into their car with a screwdriver and took Grace's bag full of cash, jewelry and other valuable items, as well as some clothing.

Hemion and Grace called the police, who said they had already stopped the car in Jacó because of previous reports that it had been used in suspicious activity.

“There are a number of organized gangs operating throughout the country, and we had identified this as a car previously involved in illicit activity,” said Tourism Police Director Katia Chavarría.

Police searched the car and allowed Hemion and Grace to look through it until they found all the stolen items with the exception of a ring, a cell phone chip and about $400 cash, Grace said, adding that police did not handcuff the suspects and allowed them to rummage around the car while they were searching.

“Police would not search the car again to find the remaining items,” Hemion said. The three suspects – two of them Colombians with refugee status identified by the last names Cortés, 67, and Castaño, 30, and the third a Costa Rican, identified as Cordero, 21 – were detained overnight and released the next day.

Chavarría said she didn't know who filed the report saying police found $10,300 belonging to Grace, but that it was false.

Chavarría said the case is now in the hands of the Garabito prosecutor's office.

"Released the next day." That's like a bad joke.